The Rod and Mantle
by Kyrieath
Summary: An AU take on the tale of Alessandro's ascension to the position of Pope.
1. Empty Halls

Author: Cyhirae 

Notes: I opted to go ahead and write this on what little I know- since there seems little enough info on how he did obtain the office. Alessandro doesn't seem the sort to even contest with pretty much anything though so..here you go.  
And I don't own Trinity Blood, Alessandro, Caterina, Francesco, or dEste.

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**_Empty Halls_**

It was strange now. The halls of the Vatican honestly felt...empty, somehow, in the wake of the Pope's death. It was if someone had taken a blanket and draped it over the halls and windows- dimming light and sound until it seemed the most horrid of sins to disturb it. What made it truly eerie was that anywhere I looked, someone was there. Never in my life had these halls been more filled with people...

And never had they been so absolutely still. Filled with people, but empty of life.

Today, one day after the Pope's funeral...they were going to be selecting a new Pope, or at least starting on the process. The popular leaning seemed towards Uncle- really, I think he should gain it as well. He was unfailing at the Pope's side before- he knew all about running the Vatican, having all but taken over the position in the intern. It would make for a smooth, peaceful transition.

Finally some life stirs in the quiet hall- the council chamber doors opening as the Cardinals exit. Murmurs are filling the air- bafflement. Outside, someone calls that black smoke is rising...the Pope was not selected. Someone was contesting Uncle's claim? The very thought of it has me leaning about in a clearing between one of my peers and a pillar to try to catch a glimpse of brother and sister- as Uncle's most ardent supporters, they would be able to say who was opposing him, right?

"Ah..." On first glimpse- something is very wrong. Uncle is not with them. He walks further ahead, between two other Cardinals- while brother and sister walk behind, heads held high and refusing to look to the side. I lean a little further out, hoping to capture one of their attentions...and find myself nose-to-chest just about with Uncle. The procession has stopped right in front of me...and as I let my eyes trace the ornamentation of his robes up to his face...

Never in all my life has Uncle look so displeased to see me. I jerk back, scrambling to vanish back behind the pillar while the crowd stirs- but his hand captures my arm and keeps me quite firmly still as he starts to speak.

"Good luck with your attempts." the words make absolutely no sense- he certainly doesn't sound sincere. Why is he wishing me luck anyway? He simply looks at me a moment longer...and the anger seems to fade some, turning almost to pity. "I see. Well then..." Well that explains to me absolutely nothing. I look about from one cardinal to the other- then the crowd shuffles away from me some, leaving me quite well alone with this strange moment.

The garden door is just a few feet away. I could easily make a dash for it and just vanish from everyone's sight right now. All the staring is making me self conscious of every small thing- from the fact my hair isn't quite neat to the small stains along the hem of my robes from this morning's walk through the gardens...

"Cardinals. Attend to your candidate." With that, he releases my hand and starts walking away again, the other two cardinals- I really should try to remember everyone's name but there's just too many!- trailing in his wake... Attend to their candidate?

"What...ah...brother? Sister? What is-" In all the confusion, they've advanced on me as well, still holding up the rest of the proccession- one to either side of me. And brother is giving me the look that informs me I'm going to do exactly what they want right now, or I'll be spending my afternoon hiding behind my chair as he informs me precisely what he thinks of my actions for the day...

"Come along." Caterina at least makes an effort to look like she's smiling- gesturing lightly for me to proceed between them. "We have much work to do now for you to be ready for the debates to come."

Debates to come? Get ready for them? I will freely admit I'm not the brightest crayon in the box- but pieces were coming together very fast and the picture they were forming for me now was surely turning me as white as the marble floors.

"Y-you didn't- Brother, Sister! What are you-"

Pope! They had claimed me as a contestant to uncle's bid? Both of them smile, leaving me feeling like I had just suddenly fallen in front of a pair of hungry wolves rather than my siblings- they'd not had much use for me before, so I'd hardly had time to notice just how...predatory they could look, once they were after something.

I was learning a whole new sense of pity for their fellow cardinals- and an even deeper sense of self pity for myself as they turned me about in the hall way- ushering me between and before them. They had really done it. They were going to try to make me the Pope! Even I had to wonder just what was in the council's tea today- for them to even consider me a contestant for the position enough to agree to their entering me!

A look behind and once to the left and to the right warns me that now is not the time to be asking this question. I catch my lip between my teeth as we start our march through the hallway- a sharp nudge from brother making me quickly raise my head to attempt some form of dignity about this. Given the pitying, sorrowful looks from the people in the hallways, I must have looked more like I was being marched to execution than to..wherever we were going. I didn't even know!

God save me from whatever they were planning- I had the worst feeling that He had little place in those plans...


	2. Brother And Sister

Author: Cyhirae

Notes: None of this, to my knowledge, is canon. I'm just taking a great deal of creative lisence and guessing at the reasons they'd place an incompetent like Alessandro as Pope...even if he hasn't quite caught on yet.  
And Trinity Blood, Alessandro, Caterina, Francesco and dEste still aren't mine! Never will be!

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_**Brother and Sister**_

The chambers they guide me to are my sister's- that in and of itself is worrying. For Francesco to have given up the security of his own chambers and followers to enter Caterina's territory...They were serious about working together for this. They had set aside the obvious and most well suited candidate to be Pope..to place me as the candidate they wanted.

If they weren't right behind me in the hallway, I know I would have run. To the garden, to my room- to anywhere that had a perfectly sized hiding place for me to vanish in until they regained their senses and went back to Uncle. Me, the Pope? This just wasn't going to happen!

But instead of running, I'm finding myself instead sat in a chair in her office- both standing before me and just..looking at me for a moment. I have the distinctly unpleasant feeling I'm being weighed, and I don't even have to ask if I'm not meeting their expectations to this news. I never have met any expectations they'd set of me- why would I start now?

"B..brother..sister...did...did you really..." Two flat looks leveled my way are enough to inform me that the question was not the best of icebreakers I could have chosen. Brother steps forward suddenly, all but dominating my view as he looms up, a glare angled down from his view point to make me feel like the rabbit about to be stooped on by a hawk. "b..but ...uncle..he's the most..."

"He is too set in his ways!" Brother's voice booms out as surely as if he had just spoken through a bullhorn, and I feel my heart sink to somewhere below the chair I'm sitting in. Perhaps I should duck under there and get it- for it surely seems as if Francesco is truly about to devour me down to the marrow for having even dared protested. "This is to be a new age for the Vatican-"

"Brother, let us explain things a little more indepth before we go into that." What she may mean by that isn't clear as Caterina moves to take her seat behind her desk, her hands folding to let her chin rest upon them as she looks me over once again.

"W..well...why don't you..." Two sharp gazes fix on me again and I choke the half formed question off-apparently I had just been about to ask another stupid question...But sister at least inclines her head a moment, and Francesco actually maintains his silence to let her speak. Frightening, that..they..they really are working together. There's no way I'm getting out of this...

"I cannot take the throne for obvious reasons. I've risen as high as I will in rank- now all I have to work with is influence." That influence was far more frightening than her rank if you asked me..but it was rather plain she wasn't..."And Francesco does not have the proper..qualifcations to become Pope either at this point. Uncle has a much stronger bid for it than he does. Thusly- it falls on you to do this."

I think my heart just fell lower than merely under my chair. It's surely somewhere in the Vatican's cellars now...I really should go get it...

"Pay attention!" I jump in my chair as Francesco, who had backed away just long enough to let sister speak, looms up into view once more. "Uncle would only run things as the deceased Pope had- this is not the time to sit cowering under our roof! The Vatican's way of dealing with things is to be changed with this election- we must make it a true force to be reckoned with!"

At her desk, I can see my sister's lips curve into a sharp frown- well it seems her and brother aren't entirely in agreement on this...

"Francesco- let me explain it." Yes, let her explain it, please brother. I can't possibly shrink back any further in the chair than I am now, and that does nothing for escaping the booming of his voice... "Alessandro, the previous Pope was a good but paranoid man. He was overprotective of his power and his nation- as a result, though we are not at war, neither are we truly at peace. It would take only one small conflict to send the structure he has built up in flames- and Uncle would intend to carry on precisely as he had."

Well...I can see the logic there too...Who wants a war? I shift out of my corner of the chair a bit, feeling a touch more at ease...but even I can feel the tension in the room. Brother and sister were working together- but...I was getting the feeling their aims were very different for what the final goal of their selection of me was.

"You must present a strong will before the council to secure your election!" Brother's sudden boom is enough to send me right back into that corner of the chair- maybe I still have my heart after all, because my blood is racing fit to make me dizzy as he crosses his arms, scowling down at me. "Sforza and I need our hands free to do what we must to ensure this- so you must be prepared to carry the crossrod of the Pope and lead our lands into a new era!"

New era? Lead? _Me?_ Maybe they have me confused with another brother..there could always be another one, somewhere...right? I am not a leader- I never have been! How can they ask this of me?

"I..b..brother...I can't...this is just...I can't do it!" The minute those words leave my mouth- I'm regretting them. Brother seems to swell up to four times his size, face turning as red as his robes at my apparent refusal- I'm not arguing with him! But can't he see I just can't do it? I'm not arguing, I'm stating a fact!

"You can." That calm interjection comes from behind Francesco, cutting through the tirade he was surely forming as Caterina rises once again from her desk to walk towards us...standing to my right now and looking down to me. One hand is held up to forestall Francesco's rage- though I can't say her expression is any more reassuring. "We will teach you what to say, and what the appropriate responses are to what they will ask. If uncle takes the up the rod, we can be assured another era of strained relations just waiting to snap and our lands under constant threat. We are vast, Alessandro- but Albion and the Empire both wield considerable might in their Old Technology. Think on that and what it could mean for us to fall suddenly under attack by them before you outright refuse."

"And your refusal means nothing! You have already been accepted as rightful contender to the rod- you will not let our efforts be wasted!" Fire and ice, that's what I was stuck with here. Francesco's roaring would frighten the devils out of hell- and Caterina's cold, calm logic would freeze them stiff! And here I sat before them, informed of what I was to do and why.

My hands are wringing- I hadn't even realized I'd begun to do that. I look down at them, a good chance to hide the growing dampness against my eyelashes- they couldn't be seriously doing this to me! I wasn't suited- either of them were a thousand times more qualified than me! I was not a leader, a thinker, I'm just..just...

"Do not worry so much." Amazingly- that is brother, his tone leveling out as he looks down at me...smiling? I think that's supposed to be a smile. Maybe even a reassuring one but instead- it looks much more like a fox having found a particularly tasty hen right outside it's den... "We will be standing beside you and guiding you. Everything will go as it must."

He looks smug- absolutely pleased with this idea...while Caterina is leveling a cold glare at him. But she doesn't argue- she simply turns and returns to her desk.

"That is enough for now, Alessandro. Tomarrow we will begin instructing you- for now, you have the right to return to your own chambers and collect your belongings- a candidate for the Pope's throne does not live among alcolytes."

That release is all I needed. Before brother can even begin to voice what is on his own mind- I've proven there's one thing I can do very well. He's still blinking at the suddenly vacated chair as I jerk the doors open to the hall- fleeing their presence and dashing through the halls as the sobs start to claw at my chest and tears slip down. I just can't do this.

I'm not qualified, I never will be, no matter how much they try to make me look otherwise. I'm supposed to be going back to my chambers to get my belongings- but at first entry into the gardens? I find myself fleeing there instead, finding my favorite alcove to curl up in, sobbing. How can they ask- no, how can they demand I do this? I just can't...

I can't. I'll never be the Pope...don't they realize that?


	3. Of Wolves and Mice

Author: Cyhirae

Notes: Ah, the joys of politics...  
Sing it with me kids! Trinity Blood, Alessandro, Caterina, Francesco and dEste are not mine! Hey! dance

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_**Of Wolves and Mice**_

I must have fallen asleep in the garden- or I never would have sit still long enough for them to find me. One moment, from what I can recall..I was crying my heart out- proof I hadn't lost it down into the cellars after all...the next? Well I'm not precisely sure what happened there either- there was just a great deal of roaring, flashes of red as what I assumed to be brother's robes swirled around his form as he pulled me to my feet and a mountain of other things that just tumbled by my senses, unnoticed.

When I well and truly came to- I was sitting in a chair in someone's office, with a light shining into my eye.

"Ah, there we go. He was just in shock, d'Este." The unknown person moves away, giving me a 'reassuring' pat on the back...how can it be reassuring though when his moving means I'm getting a clear view of where I am now? My uncle sits acrossed from me- neither glaring like brother or so icy as sister...but the look is no more reassuring. Once again I'm being weighed.

And needless to say- I'm being found wanting.

"U..uncle..."

"..I do not believe you are a willing part of this farce, Alessandro." No matter how I shift in the chair, I can't seem to quite escape his gaze- and looking down only makes it worse..since he only looks all the more sharp edged when I look up once again... "It is not in your nature. They cannot be keeping you ignorant forever, however- what have they told you so far?"

My lips are dry and my throat feels like I've been walking through a desert all day...parched and scratchy in the view of this. Brother and sister had been bad enough- but something in my uncle's gaze is just...I had thought of them looking like wolves earlier. I was wrong- here is the wolf, grayed and patient with age. How can they think I'll ever be picked in place of him...?

"I..I didn't know..they didn't..tell me much..." Well actually I think they did- but I cannot recall a word of it right now under that gaze. "S..something about wanting..to change how things are...and..." I probably shouldn't be telling him, that's what some tiny voice in the corner of my mind is whispering...once it peeks out of it's hiding place. That agenda seemed a private one...should I really...

"I see. And due to Sforza's health and Medici's lack of popularity...you are the one they chose for their efforts." His tone is even- but something under it holds..almost a sneer. Disdain- I'm sure of it. My hands start to twist about one another again as I look down to the rug below me- tracing it's intricate patterns over. "At the end of tomarrow, the new Pope will be declared."

"Ah- s-so soon! But the..the council..and..." Didn't it take longer? I needed time to think of a way to talk them out of this- I had to do something! ...on the other hand, I could just hide tomarrow..wait, weren't they supposed to be trying to..to coach me or something tomarrow?

"There are only two candidates for the throne, Alessandro!" He doesn't boom like brother- but his voice cuts mine down in a heartbeat as he rises from his desk, stepping forward to loom over me. "And it is not a difficult desicion to make! It will be either myself...or you." And from that tone..It's rather plain whom he thinks will be picked... "So I've come with an offer."

An..offer? I look up at him as he starts to pace before me, hands tucked behind his back in a thoughtful pose..though I'm not sure he's thinking on this right now. He was so much like Caterina and Francesco, he would never do antything by impulse alone...

"..what..what are you thinking of, uncle..?"

"The greatest attraction to you for the position is your youth." He stops his pacing to look downat me then, glaring fit to shame both of my siblings into seeming rank amatures are the art. I can feel myself shrinking under the look...maybe if I shrink enough, he'll lose track of me and I can escape under the door..."If they can get you on the throne and mold you- you will be Pope for many years to come, far longer than I would likely last. That is the only advantage you have- beyond that? You have nothing!"

That last makes me jump, cowering back against the cushions of the chair. Behind us- there's a soft click as the door closes..whomever that had been, they are gone now...leaving me alone with a man who is justifiably angry at me. He starts pacing again, however...moving away from me and letting me catch my breath once again...

"You are not suited for this, Alessandro." Now his tone is..almost kindly, and the look he gives me a mirror of the one in the hall: pitying. "No, not by far. You are a child more than you are a man, frail of health and will. This position would be the death of you by stress alone- the power plays of your siblings would only make it worse. Thus my proposal, for my youngest nephew's sake: Leave Rome for the time being. I can have you underway to a church within the hour if you so wish, one of the ones in the countryside. You may return at your pleasure once the election is through and with my blessing- I only want to protect you from what they will do to you. Once I am firmly enstated as Pope, they will not be able to use you in their power games again."

Since this began this morning- it was this morning, wasn't it? Or did I fall asleep and wake up the next day in the garden...everything just blurred...but for the first time since then- I feel a tiny bit of hope start to coax my heart back into it's proper place. If I did that...then he would be free to make his ascent as Pope, and I wouldn't be involved in it anymore. He would continue as before and..and...

_It would take only one small conflict to send the structure he has built up in flames- and Uncle would intend to carry on precisely as he had._

Those words rise unbidden in my mind...coldly slapping away that fluttering bit of hope. I want to accept this offer so badly- but that thought keeps me quiet a moment. Still..it can't be as bad as all that, could it? Uncle was wise and experienced, he could...But Caterina..and Francesco...

"Alessandro!" That is not Uncle's voice. I jump up at that sound- my foot catching on the leg of the chair as I start to turn..leaving me sprawling on the floor and at...brother's feet. Behind him, in the now open door way, stands Caterina as well- both leveling glares at uncle as I pick myself up, wincing.

"Ah..Caterina..Francesco. I was merely looking into Alessandro's health- they found him out in the gardens this morning." So I had fallen asleep...I lost an entire day... "Do take better care of your candidate if he is so incapable of looking after himself." That jab makes me wince as I turn to look at him- any kindliness is gone in the face of brother and sister's intrusion..

"Thank you for your thoughtfulness, Uncle." Caterina moves forward, gesturing for me to step between her and Francesco again...they must have come looking for me when I didn't turn up on my own..."We will not trouble you further as you have your own preparations to make. Come, Alessandro- we should begin as well." With that, they start to lead me away- all I can do is walk with them. There just isn't any room for argument...

"I assure you, it was no trouble. Good luck to you all- and Alessandro? If you wish to discuss matters before the election, I will happily make time for you." A touch of that kindly tone there- enough to make me pause and look back...is he saying the offer is still good, even though I didn't accept right away?

"Thank you, Uncle. I-"

"You will not have time, Alessandro! You have wasted too much already!" Francesco looks ready to start spitting nails- and I turn by back on the doors to walk with them down the hall as Caterina closes them behind us...wincing at the heavy thud of the wood between what had seemed like a sure bid for freedom from this insanity and myself.

Had I done the right thing in not accepting right away? If I hadn't recalled those words...I know I would have. Caterina and Francesco were trying to see to the Vatican's safety, just as uncle was..they only had different ways of doing it. Still, the offer looked to be there...All I had to do was say 'yes' and he'd take me away from here. Then he would win by default.

But then it felt like I would be betraying my brother and sister, just vanishing like that. Did I make the right choice in..well..not actually making a choice? I still had time to change it...

But how would I know which one was the right one to make...?


	4. Ascension

Author: Cyhirae

Notes: Phew..nearly done. Muse is on caffiene today..  
Not mine, not mine- Trinity Blood, Alessandro, Caterina, Francesco and dEste are not mine!

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_**Ascension**_

There is no further 'discussion' that day...Francesco said I would have no time to speak with Uncle and they plainly meant to make good on that. And their coaching was pure torture...they would tell me the question they knew would be asked at some point- and the other would tell me the answer. They made me repeat it several times per question- and I honestly thought it was never going to end.

The windows grew dark as the questions continued- coming rapid fire and out of order now..They were testing to see if I'd really memorized what questions triggered what answers- and apparently I was starting to not do such a great job of it...

"Alessandro! Haven't you been listening? If you do not get this right, then everything will be for nothing- do you intend to just fall and fail before the council!" Behind him, Caterina watches me cower on the chair without so much as a drop of pity to her gaze...then she picksup the paper before her, calmly reading off the question a second time.

"What is the purpose of the Pope?"

"T..to guide the people and p-protect them under th...the church's wing..."

"How does he guide the people?"

"B..by showing them the proper t-truth of the w..world so they will..will..."

Fracesco gives a snort of disgust, turning away from me in a swirl of fabric. And sitting on that hard, uncomfortable chair, I just want to cry. I know the answers- they've drilled them into me enough..but whenever they ask? I can't give them right. I always forget something, or mess up the wording and...I'm tired, hungry and cold under the chill of Caterina's glare.

Uncle's offer is truly looking tempting. And they can't keep me in this office all night. Maybe things weren't guarenteed peace now- but things were still quiet. What would be so bad about letting that continue? Nothing happened in the last pope's reign to undo his work...why would it happen in uncle's? I make up my mind then- I'm going to go to Uncle as soon as I get out of here- I'm going to say yes.

He's right- this isn't for me. I can't do this. I know I can't do this! But I have to get to uncle and soon...if it gets much later..I won't be able to leave before tomarrow...

"B..brother? S..sister? I..." Both turn their glares fully on me again and I sink down in the chair..saying the first thing that comes to mind. "..I...have to use the bathroom." With no further ado, I'm out of the chair and heading for the bathroom door...Caterina's office has one-all the major ones do. It also has a window. I lean my ear against the door once it's closed, listening to the conversation starting outside...

"...you really think this will work..."

"...has to. We have no one else..."

That gives me a pause. They're actually counting on me to do this? I lean against the door, staring at the window. I could sneak through there easily- from the inside, the security systems aren't Ithat/I hard to work around. They're designed to keep people out, not in after all...I close my eyes and take a deep breath..thinking. Going to Uncle would be easy...but was it right?

"...if he cannot..."

"...He can. We just need to support him..."

They are. They really are counting on me to do this. They're doing their best to make me a good candidate- at least seemingly so...did they really believe in what they were doing that much? I open my eyes and look to the window again- the temptation nearly overwhelming. I can run and be safe-and things will be like they always were...except not. If I run away...

How will it look for them? They picked me for this...and cast their lots on me all the way it seems. If I just run away- they'll be the ones who suffer the humiliation. I..don't really care either way how it may make me look. I've always been easily overlooked and forgotten about- I'm no one of consequence- or at least, I wasn't until yesterday. They were Cardinals. They had publically declared me their candidate.

If I ran away...I could be causing them more trouble than when I simply fail in front of the council. I wipe at my eyes with the sleeves of my robe as a small sob starts to claw it's way out...Uncle had a point too. I'm really..not cut out for this. But..that was a good thing, right? It meant he'd win- I'd fail before the council, Uncle would take the throne, and I wouldn't have humiliated brother and sister by just..running away.

With this grand new plan in mind- I emerge from the bathroom at last- turning my back on the window. This was right, not just abandoning them. They didn't deserve it, so...I would do my best. Then there would be no regrets...

_**The Following Day**_

The council chamber was unusually bright today- and crowded. The council sat at their massive table, the only empty seat that of the Pope..the mantle was draped acrossed it with the rod and hat of the office nestled firmly into place...At the end of this session, Uncle would surely be taking his seat there, with the two Cardinals that were his primary supporters placing the marks of office upon his head, about his shoulders and into his hands.

Behind us- an array of guards and those with small duties to perform that gave them a peek into the proceedings...

And in the middle of the chamber, myself and Uncle stood. We are both wearing identical plain white robes- nothing so fancy as the vestments of the Pope, but nothing that would force a clash no matter which of us ascended the position. And all around us- the questions are coming rapid fire. Both ones that my siblings had prepared me for- and others of..a more personal nature. Opinions asked, thoughts discussed...

I'm losing track of it all. My throat is dry, my feet are sore- and the deliberating goes on and on. Uncle stands passively beside me, giving his answers in a calm, even tone of voice...I must surely look like a rambling little child next to him, not even sure if the answers I'm giving are the proper ones to the questions asked. The only time I focuss on anything is when one of those tricky ones comes up...

And then I forge my way through as best I can. Every moment I speak...I'm surer of uncle's victory. That alone makes this tolerable. And still the game of round robin goes on. Thoughts on Albion, thoughts on the Empire, on Methuselah especially, on - well at this point, I don't think I'd be amazed if if someone asked why water was wet and how we felt about the fact it was so.

At last..the two Cardinals who served the deceased pope rise to their feet- nodding to one another.

"We have only one question more..then we shall allow you to rest as we make our desicion." It's over! It's finally over! I've been crying quite a bit these past few days- but this is the first time I want to do so out of pure joy. I was almost free! We only had to answer one last question- then we'd go sit while the council decided uncle was the better choice and then my life was back to normal. "The question we lay before you now is this: What future do you see for the Vatican in this world?"

Uncle clears his throat, leaping on the chance to answer first...and I'm more than happy to let him. He can show them how confident he is- he has an answer ready from the start, better than _me_. I hadn't expected this, though he clearly had...

"The Vatican will continue to hold against the onslaughts of the world that now exists, and build our people back to the heights they once knew- brick by brick if need be. It will remain strong, the pinnacle of humanity in a world fast forgetting itself under the sway of the Methuselah and the ravages of the Armageddon. We will hold humanity's head up high and stand firm against it all, until all signs of the past are washed away and we have reclaimed our ancestral right in this world."

Several pairs of hands begin applauding...and then all eyes turn to me. Uncle has given his answer..now I need to give mine. But..what to say? I ransack my memory for the things 'discussed' in the office- trying to piece together something...I can't leave until I answer...

"..the..future is not something..that is easy to predict. Right now..." Come on...think...I was doing this for my siblings..I had to make sure I didn't embarrass them too badly in my failure... "Things are not assured. The..vatican will never back down from protecting it's people ...but..that..means knowing when...to change. It's..easy to say...that things will just be the same...but..as things are..." come on, I'd remembered it back in Uncle's chambers.. "Nothing..is safe. The world is changing..and...we..we should be willing to, too. If...if you can't change..then..everything changes without you..and you get ..left behind..."

Silence holds the chamber. No applause, just several long looks as I fall silent...and I opt to quit while I'm already behind...I've said enough to give an answer.

"That's..all."

With a nod, we are dismissed from our places in the council room..and it takes all the effort I can muster not to just flee into the waiting room prepared for me. Uncle is taken to another- I will be alone while they deliberate on this, it seems. Good...it will give me time to prepare myself for Francesco's anger and Caterina's scorn at that miserable performance.

What was I thinking, saying that? I didn't even start to really say what they'd told me..I'd just babbled on. I hadn't meant to embarrass them but...Francesco wasn't going to let me live this down. If I had known I was going to make that big a fool of myself, I would have taken Uncle's offer after all... I want to simply start crying, but I can't yet and I know it. I was going to have to go into that chamber one more time for my dismissal- I could indulge then.

But if they take much longer, I'm going to start and I won't be able to stop...

Then, through the door, the din of hands clapping- and outside of the council's walls, a louder sound: People are cheering. White smoke must have be rising from the vatican- they have finally decided on Uncle. The sheer relief of the thought dries the tears- enough to help me stand and go to the door as it opens without a single catch to my breath or faltering to my step.

We take our places before the council again- this time, the Cardinals who had chosen each of us as their candidates standing between us and the table- the rainments of Pope set on a table between them. All of their faces are impassive as one of the Cardinals- the Camerlengo I believe, though I never paid much mind, speaks up again.

"We have had laid before us two choices on this day. A choice of security in the ways of the past and a choice of the risks of the future. We have weighed these two against one another and against the good as we see it for the Vatican and all those who look to it for their protection. And on this day, we have decided!" Those words ring out to the applause of the gathered Cardinals- while beside me, Uncle can't quite seem to keep a smile off his lips. "Now, let our choice be known!" The Camerlengo picks up the cross rod, walking towards us...

And behind? The mantle and hat are also lifted from their positions upon the small table...by Caterina and Francesco. In Francesco's hand rests the hat- while Caterina sweeps the mantle over her arm- both striding forward confidently...and the two other Cardinals, who had stood by Uncle? They remain in the back of it all, lifting the small, heavy wooden table that had held the vestments between them and carrying it away.

This can't be happening. There is simply no way! I want to look aside to my uncle- to ask him if this is real...but all I can see is the trio of Cardinals approaching me...my sister looks as impassive as ever, but my brother has a triumphant smile (smirk?) upon his face as they stop before me...the Camerlengo raising the rod above my head.

"Kneel, Alessandro." I lower myself to the floor numbly- mind still racing in circles as my siblings move forward...Caterina sweeping the mantle acrossed my shoulders and Francesco placing the hat upon my head..this just can't be happening. I must have passed out in the room and am having this nightmare- or maybe I'm still in the garden after crying myself to sleep-they say that can lead to nightmares too...crying yourself to sleep that is, not sleeping in gardens though that's not known to help one's health either...

Oh dear god. I've been so busy rambling to myself I haven't heard a word of what the Camerlengo's been saying! Only a subtle nudge from Francesco snaps me back into awareness to hear the final words...

"-and in the choosing of change, we are presented with one who will guide us through these years ahead- may he live to see the fruitation of his efforts and guide the Vatican onto a greater path than hiding behind it's own walls. Rise, Alessandro XVIII, and take on your rightful duties!"

I rise to my feet, shakily though the mantle surely hides that as I look up at the Camerlengo..who places the rod into my hands. All around me, the Cardinals are bowing...he bows as well...as do my siblings...even my Uncle bows. I want to toss the rod aside- to shrug off the mantle and knock away that heavy hat- this wasn't supposed to happen! I wasn't- they weren't- it was impossible!

And at the council table- the other Cardinal has risen from his chair..instead taking one further down, where Caterina used to sit. The Camerlengo..former camerlengo..? moves away from us as well as people right themselves and reclaim their seats, taking the place Francesco had once sat. On either side of me- my siblings start to move forward...I can either do so with them, or get run over. It's not much of a choice..and soon enough I find myself sitting numbly upon the chair, a less ornate replica of the Throne of Saint Peter that stood in the main hall of the Vatican.

And at some point during my walk..Uncle had disappeared into the crowd.

As my siblings settle themselves into their new chairs- their new positions and power- I cast my gaze up to the paintings and statues placed about the council room..the saints of the ages, great miracles of the past...

_Dear God in Heaven...what are you doing to me...?_


	5. Tempered Regrets

Author: Cyhirae

Notes: Trinity Blood, Alessandro, Caterina, Francesco and dEste ain't mine, never mine.  
Ah, yes. And this is the final installment. Enjoy.

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_**Tempered Regrets**_

Everything was out of my control. I sat there upon the chair for the rest of the day while the council laid matters out before me- things I had no idea of being tossed acrossed the table..and swiftly picked up by either my brother or my sister before I had a chance to show my ignorance on the matter. I just wanted it to end. This wasn't right- I didn't belong here! Uncle did- or even one of them- but not me! I didn't know anything about ruling, about leading!

I was just an acolyte! Not even a particuarly talented one, for all my 'rightful blood' claim to this position.

Numbness sets in as the day wears on- I don't even try to understand what people are saying right now. I nod where it seems appropriate to do so by the tone, say yes or no at my siblings' urgings...but I just want out. I don't care what's going on. I don't belong here- I don't!

At last- it ends. A gentle nudge from Caterina sends me rising from my chair...she and Francesco only a heartbeat behind. The other Cardinals rise as well, bowing to us- to me...and then Caterina is guiding me away. I will not be going back to my own chambers today..they aren't 'mine' anymore. I can comprehend that much. The Pope's chambers are much deeper in..far more heavily guarded...

And Francesco isn't with us.

"..w..where is..."

"As the new Camerlengo, he has duties to attend to." Though she is walking behind me, she stays close enough to steer me through the halls- and somewhere along the way we aquired an escort. The Vatican's security stays close by us the entire way- stopping just outside the doors Caterina ushers me through...into my 'new home' as it were. And once those doors are closed?

The rod hits the floor, dropped like it burned me- the hat flying askew as I turn to stare at Caterina- I'm not going to try to hide the tears anymore. This is..just too much...

"H..how! why- I can't- I can't do this! I'm..I'm not a leader! I'm-"

"Your Holiness." Those words fall cold on my ears as Caterina looks down at me, drawing herself up to her full height..her presence just seeming to fill the room. "Pull yourself together. You can do this. You won this position yourself- all we did was show you how. It was your final answer that determined who, between you and Uncle, would ascend to the throne of Pope."

"B..but he..."

"He had an answer at the ready. He gave it no visible thought or consideration- He gave the answer he knew many conservatives would want to hear. They were not looking for someone who would tell them such a thing, Your Holiness." She pauses a moment, an odd expression crossing her face as she looks at me...then reaches out to straighten the hat and pluck the rod from the floor.

"You surprised us all with your answer. You were not eloquent- but you were honest." She presses the rod back into my hands, closing my numbed fingers over it. "It made them willing to take the risk you could be molded into a true leader- until that time, Medici and I will guide you." She turns to the doors then, starting to stride out...

"W..wait...Sister...wh-what of uncle?" I hadn't seen him since we had been answering the questions in the chamber..I had to see him, to say something...

"He is still in the Vatican, but not for much longer. He has placed a request to be moved to another district, where his...talents will be of more use, by his words. He is not accepting visitors at this time- not even the Pope, Your Holiness. You should rest now- this day has been a trying one." With that..she is out the doors and gone before I can formulate another question...leaving me alone to contemplate what I've done.

I did not betray my siblings- but I took my uncle's rightful place..and I said things I could not back up. Those weren't my words. Didn't they realize that? Didn't she? I drop into the nearest chair, dropping the rod beside it as I finally just bury my face into my hands to cry...Uncle was angry now and he was leaving - possibly for good. I wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to see me again- see Rome again after the farce that was just pulled.

"Sister.." the words work there way out through the sobs as I raise my head to look to the doors she vanished through..now assuredly long gone. All that should be outside now were the guards..and they would never come in here.. "..I..if anyone..should be... pope because..of those words...i..it's not... me..."

But under their direction- I had made this bed..and now I had to lie in it. I only hoped I could do what they wanted me to..and that they would show me the way. I needed someone to...because for now? All I could think of was my favorite garden alcove to visit when things went miserably wrong and how far away it was from these rooms.

If God was out to punish me for something...perhaps playing along with their plans at all...He was certainly off to a good start...

_**Fin!**_


End file.
